Funny moments!

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Rakthar
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Re: Funny moments!

Post by Rakthar » Sun Feb 04, 2018 8:27 pm

(a thick juicy beef steak gets damaged)
A bandit wizard makes a strange sound as you land a sneak attack with something!
A bandit wizard's severed right arm falls to the ground!
a bandit wizard has several traumatic wounds.

Who said meat isn't murder?
Cabadath, Weaveshaper
Rakthar Of the Axe, Diplomat of the Dwarves
Pax, Hired Guard
Phyrala, Baenre Priestess
Zaditir, Flying Harpist
Namid yr Oma el An'assar yi Calim

Elisabeth
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Re: Funny moments!

Post by Elisabeth » Sun Apr 01, 2018 2:50 am

Elisabeth hms quietly, asking Veronice, 'And if you can forgive my curiosity, how old are you now, Mistress Veronice?'.
Elisabeth smiles at Veronice.
Veronice holds out four fingers to you, 'I am four years old.'.
Veronice adds on to that, 'And I am a good girl.'.
You see a pentagram dripping with blood scored into Veronice's forehead.
...But if thou hast done evil, fear her. For she beareth not her sword in vain. For she is the Lord's instrument: a wrathful avenger unto the wicked.

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Andreas
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Re: Funny moments!

Post by Andreas » Sun Apr 01, 2018 4:41 am

Andreas looks over Farron, a great, grey dire wolf with admiration. 'A magnificent companion, Sir,' he commends to Stigr.

Stigr reaches up and scritches you behind the ear and tells you, 'My gratitude, Sir. He is a true friend.'.

Stigr reaches up and scritches you behind the ear and tells Farron, a great, grey dire wolf, 'My gratitude, Sir. He is a true friend.'.

Stigr says, OOC, 'NOOO'

Zhekrie says, OOC, 'lmao'

Stigr reaches up and scritches Farron, a great, grey dire wolf behind the ear and tells you, 'My gratitude, Sir. He is a true friend.'.

Stigr says, OOC, '>.> <.< Ignore that ever happened'

You say, OOC, '... Well ALL righty then! XD'
Helm keep thee.

Areia
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Re: Funny moments!

Post by Areia » Thu Apr 26, 2018 2:03 am

Sansoril asks you 'What d'ya call it when ya cast a spell'f flight on yer mother's sister?'

You ask Sansoril 'What indeed?'


Sansoril says to you 'Uppin' the auntie.'
Ahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa
Nascentes morimur, finisque ab origine pendet.

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Harroghty
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Re: Funny moments!

Post by Harroghty » Wed May 16, 2018 5:57 pm

You don't even know which end of a length of hempen rope is up!
You hold a length of hempen rope in both of your hands.
Does anyone really?
"A man may die yet still endure if his work enters the greater work, for time is carried upon a current of forgotten deeds, and events of great moment are but the culmination of a single carefully placed thought." - Chime of Eons

Elisabeth
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Re: Funny moments!

Post by Elisabeth » Fri Jun 15, 2018 3:41 pm

If you think you might be a paladin some day, smile a lot, and are a lazy typer like me... behold my first words of wisdom to you: Alias smi.
u
Library
Basil the Verbeeg stands here.
A Winter Wolf Guard stands here with wary eyes and snow-shrouded armor.
Basil the Verbeeg smiles an ugly, toothy smile.
Basil the Verbeeg says to you 'Ah, welcome, Winter Wolf.'
A Winter wolf guard stands up straighter, squaring his shoulders.

smi basil
You miss as you try to smite Basil the Verbeeg.

bli

Basil the Verbeeg's stone skin absorbs all of your damage.
A Winter wolf guard joins the battle!

You blink.


You weave out of the way of Basil the Verbeeg's punch.


You weave out of the way of Basil the Verbeeg's punch.

flee
You prepare to flee ...


You duck under a Winter wolf guard's slashing attack.


Throne room
Yep, smi = smite and not smile now. This is doubly funny/embarrasing because after it happened, I remembered discussing this very thing with Katheryn's player a looong time ago and joked that I'd probably accidentally be smiting people all over because Elisabeth smiles so much. It had just completely slipped my mind. Students, heed your teachers well.

Woohoo for learning completely new mechanics. :P
...But if thou hast done evil, fear her. For she beareth not her sword in vain. For she is the Lord's instrument: a wrathful avenger unto the wicked.

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Alitar
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Re: Funny moments!

Post by Alitar » Fri Jun 15, 2018 9:33 pm

Never had that issue as Alitar somehow.
"The noir hero is a knight in blood caked armour. He's dirty and he does his best to deny the fact that he's a hero the whole time."
~Frank Miller

Aysa
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Re: Funny moments!

Post by Aysa » Sat Jun 16, 2018 12:45 am

Zia . o O O (Mental note... never try to get Elisabeth to smile)

Though, I guess we could take this to another level... Elisabeth has earned a new feat:

The Joel Osteen Smile of Smite!

Althasizor
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Re: Funny moments!

Post by Althasizor » Tue Sep 11, 2018 5:22 am

What happens when two very lucky people try to play dice with eachother?
Summer says 'Pick your number.'
You exclaim 'Six!'
Summer says 'And I pick... seven.'
Summer says to you 'Make your bet and roll the dice.'
You drop 5 copper coins.
Celric nods to Summer, 'Dice?'.
Summer gives you a pouch of dice.
You hold a pouch of dice in your right hand.
Celric grins, 'Imagine if I get it on the first roll, that'd be anticlimactic.'.
Summer chuckles.
You stop using a pouch of dice.
You drop a pouch of dice.
The dice roll on the ground.
The first die stops on a II.
The second die stops on a IV.
You laugh.
Summer laughs.
Celric scrubs his face with his hand, 'I can't be-You know what, it's that I'm too good. I warmed up my fate reading for the event coming.'.
You nod at yourself.
You get 5 copper coins.
Summer giggles.
Summer gets a pouch of dice.
Summer drops some money.
Celric shakes his head, 'Okay, let's just reset. This time, you first.'.
Summer holds a pouch of dice in her left hand.
Summer stops using a pouch of dice.
Summer drops a pouch of dice.
The dice roll on the ground.
The first die stops on a VI.
The second die stops on a I.
Summer laughs.
Celric falls backward in the grass, 'Oh my -god-.'.
Summer falls over laughing, 'This is just too much...'.
Celric holds his sides laughing, 'We're -too- lucky to gamble anymore.'.
Summer says 'I think today the Lady is laughing.'
Edit: Addition to the above
Celric wipes under his eyes, 'Ahahaha.. I mean.. Do we tempt it a third time?'.
Summer says 'Let's give it another go.'
Celric sits up straight again, and snatches up the dice, 'Alright, there's no way it happens again.'.
You get a pouch of dice.
Summer gets 5 copper coins.
You drop 5 copper coins.
You hold a pouch of dice in your right hand.
You stop using a pouch of dice.
You drop a pouch of dice.
The dice roll on the ground.
The first die stops on a I.
The second die stops on a VI.
Celric presses a hand to his heart, 'Oh, woo. We can still gamble, technically.'.
Summer says 'If I roll a six I think we are being sent a message.'
Summer drops some money.
Celric nods in agreement, 'That would be a bit on the nose, wouldn't it?'.
Summer holds a pouch of dice in her left hand.
Summer stops using a pouch of dice.
Summer drops a pouch of dice.
The dice roll on the ground.
The first die stops on a III.
The second die stops on a IV.
Summer just stares at the dice. She just stares.
Celric hides his face behind his hands, and falls back into the grass again.
What are you talking about? What, that guy?
That was like that when I got here.

Aysa
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Re: Funny moments!

Post by Aysa » Sun Sep 16, 2018 4:08 pm

I probably got way too much enjoyment from this... but I was amused, thinking that she had to hurry to be somewhere at a specific time.

Skylar flies in from the west.

Skylar flies east.

The sun rises in the east.

Skylar
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Re: Funny moments!

Post by Skylar » Sun Sep 16, 2018 5:30 pm

Hehehehe, I should start trying to time that and do fly-bys on the market.
"Some of us try hard to make the world a better place than it was when we found it. I know that's what I try to do. I won't always be successful, but that's life."
~Kara Zor-El

Stigr
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Re: Funny moments!

Post by Stigr » Sat Oct 20, 2018 10:42 pm

Teaching a new paladin how to meditate, she reached enlightenment so hard she disappeared.
Mairenn moves her hands gently, her breathing slowed as if she's finally reached some state of higher concentration.
Stigr takes in a deep breath and nods once as he notices Mairenn's more calmed state, careful not to speak and break her concentration.
Mairenn disappears into the void.
Stigr blinks and looks around, 'Uhhhh...'.

Elisabeth
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Re: Funny moments!

Post by Elisabeth » Tue Oct 23, 2018 7:05 am

You exclaim 'Almost!'

You prepare to cast 'divine favor'...


Harroghty strikes a glancing blow off an Awoken banespawn!
With a sickening sound Harroghty's slash deftly shreds an Awoken banespawn's right leg.


Harroghty strikes a glancing blow off an Awoken banespawn!
With a sickening sound Harroghty's slash deftly shreds an Awoken banespawn's wings.

...Everything begins to fade to black.

You feel yourself leaving your body... rising up into the air, you feel
more free than you have ever felt before...

However, before your deity comes to collect your soul, you feel a strange
pulling sensation as strange and colorful mists swirl around you...

With a bonecrunching sound an Awoken banespawn's crush deftly smashes Harroghty's chest.
An Awoken banespawn's tries to slam its great bat-like wing down against the foe.
.Ow, that hurt. The enemy's attack hits you.
A bolt of lightning spears down turning you into nothing but char!
Story of my life, right there.
...But if thou hast done evil, fear her. For she beareth not her sword in vain. For she is the Lord's instrument: a wrathful avenger unto the wicked.

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Kinal
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Re: Funny moments!

Post by Kinal » Sun Nov 18, 2018 9:59 am

Caught someone looking for manure for Bulls Strength...

You ask A lofty, dull-eyed male human 'Poop hunting?'
A lofty, dull-eyed male human says 'Uhh'
A lofty, dull-eyed male human says 'Maybe.'
A lofty, dull-eyed male human looks at you.
A lofty, dull-eyed male human says to you 'Hey, this is going to sound weird.'
A lofty, dull-eyed male human asks 'But, did your poop stop working?'
You ask A lofty, dull-eyed male human 'Excuse me?'
A lofty, dull-eyed male human says to you 'Did your poop stop working.'
A lofty, dull-eyed male human says to you 'I'm going to yell it next time.'
You say to A lofty, dull-eyed male human 'I can't say that I understand the question.'
A lofty, dull-eyed male human opens his mouth.
A lofty, dull-eyed male human says 'Ha, just kidding.'
A lofty, dull-eyed male human fills a silk spell component bag.
Technically, we're all half centaur.

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Kinal
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Re: Funny moments!

Post by Kinal » Mon Nov 19, 2018 7:34 pm

A thin, light-skinned male human peers at you, then chuckles. 'You might want to put the sword away. Someone might ge tthe wrong idea.'.
You no longer feel heroic.


heh.
Technically, we're all half centaur.

Elisabeth
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Re: Funny moments!

Post by Elisabeth » Tue Jul 02, 2019 1:51 am

Trade Way
wfffff
wf?ffp
w\ wpffpp
ww\wppppp
www-@ppp/
wwwwp\p?p
wwwwpp\ww
wwwwwww\p
wwwwwsss\
The sky is rainy and a warm southerly breeze blows.
A crude wooden sign reading 'DRUGZ 4 SAYL' lies here. (perfect)
A crude wooden sign reading 'FREE TASTE 4 KIDZ' lies here. (perfect)
A mail box labelled 'The Paladin' lies here. (perfect)
A mail box labelled 'Shroom Juice' lies here. (perfect)
A mail box labelled 'The Whoopsie' lies here. (perfect)
A mail box labelled 'Shar in a Jar' lies here. (perfect)
Auniir, a gaily-clad sun elf with a stand is here.
Auniir, a gaily-clad sun elf with a stand smiles broadly at you. 'Hello there! Welcome! Would you like to buy some potions?'.
Auniir, a gaily-clad sun elf with a stand exclaims 'Guaranteed to give you or your friends a good time!'.
Elisabeth alights onto the earth with a heavy thud of plate soles, gaze drawing across the signs and various goods ere coming to rest upon Auniir, a gaily-clad sun elf with a stand ...
You descend and land.
Auniir, a gaily-clad sun elf with a stand spreads his hands. 'Perhaps a sample? Go ahead! Which one looks intriguing?'.
Elisabeth pauses a breath or two, ere saying, 'They all appear... most interestingly named, at the very least. You are selling these to children, fairling?'.
The divine aura of protection fades away.
Your good luck finally fades away.
Auniir, a gaily-clad sun elf with a stand smiles brightly. 'Rarely! They do not have much coin. But I've always been too generous.'.
Auniir, a gaily-clad sun elf with a stand gestures at one of the boxes. 'How about the Shroom Juice? A fun ride if I do say so myself!'.
Elisabeth shoulders her long, curved blade and steps nearer, stooping slightly at the box to which Auniir, a gaily-clad sun elf with a stand gestures with eyes narrowing behind their thin blindfold to study one of the flasks. 'Generous... I see. These appear to be elicit substances.'.
Auniir, a gaily-clad sun elf with a stand smiles pleasantly. 'Indeed! They have been known to elicit many reactions.'.
Elisabeth straightens up and nods to Auniir, a gaily-clad sun elf with a stand. 'I am most certainly not interested in any of these, although seeing them so nigh to the gates of Waterdeep is... troubling. Mayhaps you should pack up and travel east--more are there who would partake of such... vile and distasteful wares.'.
Auniir, a gaily-clad sun elf with a stand brushes his hand across his chest. 'You wound me! As an elf I could never sell vile and distasteful wares.'.
An NPC cannot be rewarded.
...But if thou hast done evil, fear her. For she beareth not her sword in vain. For she is the Lord's instrument: a wrathful avenger unto the wicked.

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Neleya
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Re: Funny moments!

Post by Neleya » Sun Sep 08, 2019 5:18 am

Background: After many many months of losing her mount, Sunohe, Neleya finally gets help from Summer. Her horse doesn't seem very happy about being found, and Neleya doesn't seem very happy with the mount. Here, Neleya announces her departure and WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL SHOCK YOU (clickbait).

Renea says 'I infuse the potions with a little brown sugar or honey, and flower essence.'
You say to Renea 'Oooh, very clever. You would be the best candidate for running the baths at the Ebon Thorn in Zhentil Keep.'
Renea says 'Oh, heavens no, such an evil place. I wouldn't go anywhere near it besides to light it on fire.'
Neleya throws her head back as she releases her next laugh, 'So funny, dear lady!' she proclaims again, but a sharp glint comes to her eye. 'Speaking of setting things on fire, I should probably find some rest for Sunohe. Poor boy must be exhausted,' she says, jiggling her hand a bit on the horse's harness. 'Would you like to say goodbye to Sunohe, Miss Holycoin?' She tugs the horse forward towards Renea.

Renea pats Sunohe, a blue corn horse on his back.
Renea exclaims to Sunohe, a blue corn horse 'Careful as you go!'
Renea rises from her rest.
Renea begins to chant.
Renea utters the words, 'egruoaigtui'.
Sunohe, a blue corn horse's flesh assumes a draconian form.
Renea begins to chant.
Renea utters the words, 'abrazak'.
A shimmering suit of armour coalesces around Sunohe, a blue corn horse.
Renea begins to chant.
Renea utters the words, 'ghaiz gtui'.
Sunohe, a blue corn horse's skin hardens to a malleable stone.
Renea begins to chant.
Renea utters the words, 'aiuwar ofaxhp'.
Sunohe, a blue corn horse grows rapidly in size and weight.

Neleya stares at Sunohe, a blue corn horse growing stronger and more protected with the enchantments.

Renea begins to chant.
Renea utters the words, 'bzabrag unsoejgruiqz'.
Sunohe, a blue corn horse's face contorts with a bestial vigor...
Renea begins to chant.
Renea utters the words, 'bjrrg ghtoraliohp'.
Sunohe, a blue corn horse's muscles ripple as power flows through him...
Renea begins to chant.
Renea utters the words, 'qahg ogruqz'.
Sunohe, a blue corn horse suddenly appears more agile...
Renea begins to chant.
Renea utters the words, 'otoralahzf pzfaugw'.
Sunohe, a blue corn horse is encouraged by a boon of great heroism.

Renea smiles at Sunohe, a blue corn horse.
Renea glances at Sunohe, a blue corn horse.
Renea nods at Sunohe, a blue corn horse.
Renea sits and relaxes.
Neleya's hand slips a bit on the harness, but she reclaims her grip and smiles sweetly at the beast. 'So strong now..! Thank you, dear Holycoin. He will rest safe today. Bless your heart of gold!'.
Neleya gives a stiff curtsey and flashes Sunohe, a blue corn horse a look of warning as she leads the monstermount gingerly away.
Renea smiles, 'Gold bless!'.

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